10.23.2008

In the midst of the storm

All around me familes are struggling financially... parents deal with increasing guilt over their parenting in the age of ADHD, Autism, Teen Violence and Prenancies... employers are trying to decide how to report profits but still pay for employee healthcare and benefits... and homeowners are struggling not only to pay their mortgages, but increasing fuel and energy costs, homeowners association fees, and grocery costs that have nearly doubled in the last few years.

Some nights I can't go to sleep with worry plaguing my every thought and emotion. How am I going to pay rent - I am already 2 weeks behind? How do I afford to move to a better neighborhood to get access to a better school for Jenna and Nate? Is my ex's emotional instability affecting their lives in a negative way, or will they be resilient enough to get through it? Will Nate grow out of his ADHD or will he forever have to maintain a strict diet and take supplements and maybe someday stimulants to have a "normal" life? How do I protect their innocence in a world of violent video games and sexual-explicit media and T.V.? And how do I balance being a good mom, a good employee, a good friend and a good sister/daughter... and yet stay true to myself and my own needs and desires as well?

I know I am not alone. Our country is going through a transition period like we have never known. We have spent decades being wasteful and self-absorbed... and now we are paying the price econimically, eviromentally, and morally. There isn't one person that our current economy isn't affecting... it's pretty much across the board and trickling into our education systems, our religious foundations and our families. It is touching us on EVERY level.

No wonder so many people in America are on SSRI's (anti-anxiety meds) these days. I am one of them... and even with my daily dose, struggle with constant anxiety about my life and my children and my career. But I am learning to simplify and try and focus on the positive.

In the midst of all of this, we have been focusing on our time as a family. Watching our attitude towards each other and people around us. The kids and I talk about how we should focus on our blessings and the wonderful life God has given us, instead of what we don't have and comparing ourselves to others. It's really working. I see a difference in my attitude and in the children. We have more smiles lately and less frustration. Life is fun, if you can focus on the joy all around you.... and joy is infectious. Smile and laugh through life and watch how others begin to do the same.